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Lessons from Anger, (Part II)

>> 8.28.2011

I can say I know for certain there are people praying out there for me because in a matter of hours, it's as if the Lord has put a salve over whatever wounds, past or present, bring this ugly thing of anger out of me and He's put a new spirit within me restoring myself to Him and to the ones I love all around me.  Now, I'm well aware that this is the way it is today-- and there is no guarantee for tomorrow with the issue, so I'm taking a minute to explore some basic principles to anger.  (These are not earth-shattering, but just something for me to come back to when this rears it's ugly head another day.)

1) Anger is not a root issue-- it is an expression of something rooter deeper.
2) Finding that "thing" rooted deeper is important -- not just important, VITAL -- vital to the health of all other relationships.  I must not seek this "thing" apart from Christ, because only in Him can I find the truth of whatever is so deep-seated that it continues to bring about anger in me.
3) Being truthful with someone else who is able to hold me up in prayer is important to "keepin' it real" so that there can be accountability. 
4) God gives grace greater than anything else...and where there is true grace, it leads me to holiness that continues to refine and mold me.  It's a slow process, but He's patient with me while I am being crafted into the masterpiece He is creating me to be: I can be patient with myself, too.
5) I must not choose to take this out on those around me, most especially my children. 

As to the last comment, I heard recently that developmentally children need a place to categorize everything or else their brain creates trauma due to the inability to process what is happening around them.  Obviously I am no where near a psychologist, but I am a mom who has seen the look in her little child's eyes that stare wide-eyed in terror as I get so angry that I pitch a spoon at the wall.  I know that there is no place for them to understand what just happened when they ask "can I have a drink" and I respond in anger.  It doesn't even really make sense to me!  I'm thankful to say that I have never physically hurt my children nor have I even considered it for a moment, but this anger that sometimes welds up in me causes me to understand how others may do something irrational and in a split second can change their whole lives forever.

I am thankful that God has created children to be easy forgivers.  No, they aren't "forgetters," save for the grace of God (I guess I've forgotten some similar stories so says my own mother), but they have been ever so eager to hug me and say "I forgive you" when I've come to them (and many times so lately) and asked for their forgiveness.  My heart hurts for the sin I've committed against them and against God and I pray there will be as few scars as possible from the words I've spoken and the actions I've taken in anger.  (Talk about "mommy guilt," right?)

Thank you, Jesus for my four beautiful children to whom you've entrusted to me while on this earth.  (I don't know why sometimes...=)  Help me to lean into YOU when I'm hurting so that I will not inappropriately take it out on others.  Thank you for the cross where I can lay it all down and you've promised to heal -- and where You've already granted forgiveness!! 


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